For children, there is nothing better than a holiday.
At the age of 14 in 1992, living in a city of Kanpur, Uttar Pradesh, ruled by Kalyan Singh, then from BJP, I hardly had any idea of what really happens in a riot. It meant, unannounced, endless holidays for us.
For me, the only riots I could remember was when I was 6, and 1984 riots happened. That was only time, I saw Army on streets in my locality. Only later, I got to know it’s called “Army flag march”. Our area, usually a low-density populated, modestly up market area of Kanpur was under curfew.
Riots followed by curfew for me was:
1) My father returning early from work and telling about the detour he had to take because on the usual route they had burnt a Sikh alive and there was a major chaos there.
2) The Army men telling me to go inside, from their truck, when I was anxiously peeping down to observe the silence in the curfew, from my 2nd floor balcony.
3) My father talking about some of his friends, whose factories were burnt.
4) For 15m, next door shop would open and shut down the moment the police jeep approaches close and suddenly all people will hide somewhere.
5) The news of major ‘halwai’ (Snack) shop whose shop was burnt and brought down during those riots. I was always curious to see how it will look like now.
6) Neighbor abc telling us what happened a km away from our place. (Word of mouth was the strongest media in those times)
As the circumstances changed a few days later, I visited the shops that were affected during the riots and quenched the ‘curiosity’ in me.
In 1992, being a Hindu, I used to take pride in the fact that BJP rules my state and is championing the Hindu Cause of Ram Mandir in Ayodhya. I had no idea of economics, ideology, riots, communalism, corruption, development etc.
Development for me was possibly, development of Ram Mandir.
Life was cool for me and we, friends, used to take pride in talking about certain cassettes that had (today we call it, provocative) narrations by Sadhvi Ritambhara and Uma Bharti.
In came the news of Mosque being demolished and I felt happy. Just for the victory of Hinduism, which I thought should prevail.
Amongst many Indian cities, Kanpur was also marred with communal riots and many areas were put under curfew. Schools closed and fun started.
Since our 10th exams were due in 3 months our tuitions were still going on. There was a big institute where a lot of us used to go.Few days later, as curfew still prevailed in many portions of the city, my tuition Sir said, “Tomorrow, please get in any old clothes, eatables from your home. On Sunday, on behalf of Prerna (the social organization which he ran) we will go to Green Park where there is riot relief camp is going on…. Who all will come along with me? … Beta Shashank, will you come?”
Being the ‘good’ and the ‘obedient’ student, I said, “Yes, sir!”
(Green Park is a Cricket Stadium. I wondered how is a riot-relief camp and Green Park related to each other?)
On Sunday, along with other students and adults, I accompanied him to Green Park. I still remember it was a winter morning with bright sunshine.
Inside many tents were put up where people were just lying (like objects).
As I stood next to Sir looking around, I heard an elderly gentleman telling Sir, “Look at that girl. All her family members got killed by the rioters. She survived because she kept mum and was sitting in the laterine… What future she has now?”
The girl he pointed out was hardy half my height, dressed in partially torn and filthy looking clothes, unkempt hair, kept walking around and crying endlessly. I had no courage to ask that gentleman, if that girl was a Hindu or a Muslim?
Within few minutes, we headed out of that place.
10m of interaction, and this time around, my riot definitions (and its consequences) had changed.
2 years later, a friend of mine in a heated discussion told me, “Hindus are walking peacefully on the streets of Bombay only because person xyz butchered Muslims and made them quiet.”
I asked him, “Have you seen the suffering of people who survive the riots?”
He had no answer; I didn’t want to talk further. We were hardly 16-17 at that time.
I moved on and in subsequent elections, I voted both for BJP and Congress, based on my understanding of those times.
For me, Mandir, Masjid, Hindu, Muslims don’t matter. Our political leaders are there where they are, because of us only.
I am a namesake Hindu, today.
I just know one thing: be it whatever, killing is not correct.
Yesterday, our country prepared for yet another big day in the 1992 sequence. At the end of the day I felt happy that I was amongst the millions of other people who got one fact right, i.e. killing is not an option.
Possibly, that’s why there is not even a single stray incidence reported today.
As I entered my office today, I took pride in being an Indian, a country which has decided to move on and not inflict pain to fellow countrymen, as it did 18 years back and thereafter.
However, scene of riot relief camp and that girl (whose face I don’t remember distinctly), flashed through my mind and I reminded myself that I am what I am today because of that 20m visit to that camp that day.
But yes, few humans have paid a heavy price for my (and my fellow countrymen’s) mental evolution…
Randomly Here and There 